Crimson red

The buoyancy of those "lovely" thoughts plucked me from the garden of desires, raised me to the cloud nine, “yes, this is the time to reap", they whispered, but how long can I challenge the gravity pull?
Lovely, or probably "friendly" or "lusty", not just three words, but three perspectives. And I never wanted to bind this account to any particular angle and inclination, since I knew how they felt, even if I never accepted. They, not "He", "He" and "me", but "I”,"I" and "I" constituted this account, an account or just an unfinished page from their biographies.

Sheldon
23 June 09, 8 p.m.
May be coincidence, but we both shared the same colour to be honored as our favorite, and for the very obvious reason, this colour need to witness these wonderful moments today. The love in me cannot be focused on a single person; I love each and every person in my life. And, this is what I am made for, loving. But I don’t know why its tending to segregate in the corner of my heart reserved only for Ansh. Before my mind gets struck over these thoughts of love and life, I mingled these chains of thoughts with: “Had I done all my preparations for today's Dinner?"
"Yaa, I am almost done", but why to take a chance. Let me go through the check list:

* Butter paneer masala: Ready. ( I just love to cook for him)
* Naan: I need to order them once he arrive (He never minds in referring to my inefficiency of cooking naan)
* Mong daal halwa: ready ( I dont like it much, but you now know, who ll appreciate it)
* Starters on the table and Chocolates in the freezer.

Feelings within, smile on the face,taste in the food, yet missing was our color.

Candles, crimson red. Curtains, crimson red.
The ribbons of the night, crimson red.
My other side, crimson red.

Three years, not just of my graduation, but when I experienced most from my life. Yet, I still regret the number of times I seized voice from my words. This will gonna be another such night, and undoubtedly my last night in this wonderful city, where I realized for the time what love is. Probably we will meet again, may be in months or years, but things won't be the same. And how can I expect them to me, distance really creates distance. But there’s still an appreciable life above all these regrets, the life shared with him.


Neel
23 June 09, 8 30 p.m.
May be coincidence, but we both shared the same colour to be honored as our favorite, and for the very obvious reason, this colour need to witness these wonderful moments today. Seldom have I encountered my desires since I know it’s futile to let them shape their own way. I turned 22 last night, still single, still virgin. How long am gonna cover my sexual desires under the name of masturbation, watching porn or unusual erections at public places? Before getting into a relationship its important to know, that are we both comfortable with the physical relationship or not. He won't understand these things, all he wants is to name the relation, and may it remain misnomer. Anyways, I know he won't regret my initiation but it won't be love, but just sex. Not any union of souls, without any halo, without touching eternal grounds.
He was on time with the same innocent smile, the same bright eyes reflecting enormous love for me. Hope he don't accept commitment from me after this night. Its better to leave it on time, the night is ours, the stars and the moon so elegant, witnessed by our colour.

My T shirt, crimson red. Condoms, crimson Red.
The liquid of the night, crimson red.
Inside me, crimson red.


Ansh
23 June 09, 10 30 p.m.
May be coincidence, but we both shared the same colour to be honored as our favorite, and for the very obvious reason, this colour need to witness these wonderful moments today. I was on time and I was late too. He was satisfied and so was he, and ironically I was struggling between the confusions of the satisfying desires. I was not sure what exactly I wanted, and may be they were also in the same dilemma. Anyways, I left everything on time.
He was different this night, He, the reasons behind my masturbation. He, the reason behind those hormonal secretions. A single knock welcomed me with an unforgettable kiss. He kissed me for the first time, and may be the last. I was welcomed as never before, and I left that place as never before, without even uttering a word I left that place, left him, left that crimson red night.

Few spots, crimson red. Curious dots, crimson red.
Jovial desires, crimson red.
Dying Roses, crimson red.

Till I could reach Sheldon's place, the past hour with Neel left strong images behind my cornea that I couldn't even felt the traffic outside, the vociferous sounds, the darkness or the headlights chasing me. The time between my second knock at the door and Sheldon's welcome smile was enough for me to realize that it wasn't love, but even I wasn't sure that was it just sex? Dilemmas and confusions are always there in relations, that why I want them to be named for the sake of emotions.
But, soon dying roses regained life this night. Tomorrow's distance brought us closer this night, his love was only for me this night, and I named it love this night. I made love for the first time in my life, the love when two souls united, me and Sheldon.

( Now a part of Gaylaxy )