When I heard at the Close of the Day By Walt Whitman

When I heard at the close of the day how I had
been praised in the Capitol, still it was not
a happy night for me that followed,
And else when I caroused – nor when my favorite plans were
accomplished – was I really happy,
But the day when I arose at dawn from the perfect
health, electric, inhaling sweet breath
When I saw the full moon in the west grow pale and
disappear in the morning light,
When I wandered alone over the beach, and undressing, bathed,
laughing with the waters, and saw the sun rise,
And when I thought how my friend, my lover, was on
his way coming, then O I was happy,
Each breath tasted sweeter – and all that day my food
nourished me more – and the beautiful day passed well,
And the next came with equal joy – and with the next,
at evening, came my friend,
And that night while all was still I heard the waters roll
slowly continually up the shores,
I heard the hissing rustle of the liquid and sands, as directed
to me, whispering to congratulate me,
For the friend I love lay sleeping by my side,
In the stillness his face was inclined toward me, while the
moon's clear beams shone
And his arm lay lightly over my breast – and that night I was happy.

“Dubious” by Vikram Seth

Some men like Jack and some like Jill
I'm glad I like them both but still
I wonder if this freewheeling
Really is an enlightened thing,
Or is its greater scope a sign
Of deviance from some party line?
In the strict ranks of Gay and Straight
What is my status: Stray? Or Great?

Letter to my Mom!

To my dearest Moma,

I know you were never good in English,
But now you have to understand my words,
The words that never got a voice,
the feelings buried in my lies.

Over roasted toasts,
Or sugarless tea.
You appreciated everything,
When "I" was the cook.
Slight dark toasts,
Or less sweeter tea,
I left them there as it is,
When "you" were the cook!

I thought I am the best "son",
And I expected the Best "Mom",
You knew I am not the best son,
Still you tried being the Best mom.

It’s not about those teas or toasts,
It’s not about being best or worst.
It may be out of all my irritation,
That why didn’t you unmask my allegation?

I thought one day,
You will ask me,
“Are you in love?”
I thought one day,
You will realize that,
I am in love.

My thoughts never stopped there,
And expected one day,
You to question me,
“Is he your man?”

Since in twenty two years the day never came,
And now I really can’t play this pretence game.

Your son,
Karan

Reviewed by The Forth Dimension

Boys don’t cry (****)

She was humiliated, she was assaulted, and she was raped and finally shot to death, just because she was transgender man.

Boys Don't Cry ( 1999)is an American independent drama film based on the true story of Brandon Teena, a transgender man who attempts to hide the fact that he has female genitalia to avoid discrimination. Directed by Kimberly Peirce, the film features Hilary Swank as Brandon Teena and Chloë Sevigny as Brandon's girlfriend Lana Tisdel.
Pierce had successfully created intense emotional savageness, without much fictionalizing the true facts of the account. It has effectively lightened on the darker shades on Brandon’s life, portraying the confusions, uncertainties, and seclusion in her life. The complete crew has done an excellent job in the making the movie a great success.
Boys Don’t Cry received tremendously positive acclaim from critics, especially the two lead performances from Swank and Sevigny, and considering its reasonably low budget, and independent production, it was a box office success, with most of the success coming from word of mouth and critical views. Swank was awarded the 1999 Academy Award for Best Actress, and Sevigny was nominated for the Academy Award as Best Supporting Actress. Winning under 41 categories of various film festivals, it was nominated for 68 categories.
Boys don’t cry brought tears in my eyes, depicting those catastrophic events. One must watch this story of great human tragedy!


(Written for Pink Pages)

Touch of Pink (***1/2)

Touch of Pink, directed and written by Ian Iqbal Rashid, is the story reflecting life of Alim (Jimi Mistry), a young gay Ismaili Muslim man living in London, miles away from his mother, Nuru (Suleka Mathew) in Toronto. The reasons for this distance are quite obvious; he can’t come out of closet to his mother and relatives. Secondly, He can’t leave his love, Giles (Kristen Holden-Ried), Caucasian economist working for UNICEF. Alim has an imaginary friend, Cary Grant (Kyle MacLachlan), whose advices are very effective in letting him into troubles. All four characters are strikingly built from foot to head, especially the mother and the son’s character.

Touch of pink touches many untouched doors of society, creating an intense plot of relation of mother and her gay son. Ian Iqbal Rashid’s romantic comedy rests not just over coming out’ conflict, but also deals well with cultural clash along with adoring love story of Alim and Giles. The story had effectively portrayed the hardships of coming out of the closet, and even concluded with a positive note with the acceptance of gay son by his mother.

The screenplay has been kept simple; giving it a pleasant flow with succinct dialogues. On screen, Jimi Mistry and Suleka Mathew have done superb job. The movies didn’t receive much acclaim by critics, with only four nominations on total at various film festivals in Canada. But overall, I would say that these 92 minutes deserves one time watch.

And if you are planning to come out of closet, do watch this! May be you would like to watch it again with your mom!


(Written for Pink Pages)

Tout Droit

Premise: On a curvy lane, how can i go straight?

---)Five days.. two lanes.. single bridge..several thoughts..!!(---

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. - Dr Seuss

Day 1, day of confusions:

Back and forth; eroding the gray path,

Every now and then, i am ready to dig and choke.

Am I probing the pent passage?

Or Am I disguising the detached door?

Every passing minute bombarding a new doubt,

contradicting the history of last thirty degree count.

Since now brimming bowl can't hold more,

I am ready to carry nescience out of my soul!

Day 2, day of decision:

Holding hand; Momma's left and dadaa's right,

We advanced straight along the imprecise cluster.

Is it their confident glow that enlightened this lane?

Or they just curtail the rays from things they can't explain?

Kicked by my fate, and the curve fetched me.

the dryness of my throat seems fake,

when it drizzles over me.

If God wanted Me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise.

- Johann Von Goethe

Day 3, day of discoveries:

I cleared the droplets over my glasses,

to appreciate the ravishing RAINBOW,

which untwist beyond my twisted lane,

with pink buds carpeted on either sides.

377; three appalling digits, yet more appalled

over the discontented desires of love and life.

Pseudonym they carry, masking the visage,

to forget the pretense they largely produced.

Day 4, discoveries continued:

Following my heart, I discovered two temples,

And I noticed everything, ignored by others.

The one of Konark depicted the sexual embrace of women,

And a other relief showed a monk giving fellatio to the prince.

Still they call it an evil from western culture,

And it’s better to open old pages to clear confusions.

To my knowledge, Kamsutra belongs to Indian literature, then

WHY Vatsayana devoted an entire chapter to Auparistaka?

Why Sufi literature expressed it a spiritual relation?

And Why Persion poetry related it with moral love?

Day 5, and my final decision:

" Momma must be waiting", It alarmed my dream,

Dadaa's warning notions pulled the strings.

Stepping back to those acquainted paths,

A bridge revealed connecting those disparate lanes.

Before going back, I spared some calories for my new home,

confronting both roads, adjoining the invisible bridge.

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail.

- Ralph Waldo Emesson

( Now a part of Gaylaxy )

Just : Short Gay Movie

Link to the short film: JUST

After watching this movie, one of my friend raised a question over monogamy in homosexual relations, and these 10 minutes stimulated me to pay atleast few more minutes over it...

Relations, specially love is based on the emotional, spiritual and somehow on physical compatibility between the couple, may it a straight or gay couple. I think if you are 100% emotionally and spiritually attached with your better half, the physical compatibility does not concern much. BUT generally, people, in a hurry or just to have someone in life, get into relations without that 100% compaction, and while they have physical relation they get BORED by the same better half with whom he/she decided to spent their life.

Think before you get into relations, and If you just want ONE NIGHT STANDS, go accomplish your lusty desires until you indubitably wish to have love in your life.

"In itself, homosexuality is as limiting as heterosexuality: the ideal should be to be capable of loving a woman or a man; either, a human being, without feeling fear, restraint, or obligation."

-Simone de Beauvoir

Milk(2008) ****

"I know that you can't live on hope alone, but without it, life is not worth living. And you, and you, and you, and you have got to give them hope.”
quoted Harvey Milk, giving his "Hope Speech" at the 1978 San Francisco Gay Freedom Day.

Based on the tagline: His life changed history.His courage changed lives; Milk is an American biographical film on the life of gay rights activist and politician Harvey Milk, who was the first openly gay man to be elected to public office in the United States of America as a member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. Made brilliantly under the direction of Gus Van Sant and written by Dustin Lance Black, the film stars Sean Penn as Milk. It is a movie worth watching gripping every scene with humor, desires, hope, love and political provocation.

The film use flashbacks from a statement recorded late in life and archival footage for atmosphere, tracing Harvey Milk's career from his 40th birthday to his death. He leaves the closet, opens a camera shop that becomes the salon for San Francisco's growing gay community, and organizes gays' purchasing power to build political alliances. He runs for office with lover Scott Smith as his campaign manager. Victory finally comes on the same day Dan White wins in the city's conservative
district. The film flows so gracefully, making it historically precise, moving as a good fiction film.

Though it's unflinching in its depiction of homosexual affection, the marvel of the movie is the dexterity with which it excels the specificity of its characters and gay theme to be a universal human statement and profound political epic. Though it couldn't make for the Best motion picture of the year, Van Gust well established his personal life on the political ground, making it a flawless movie. Even Screenwriter Dustin Lance Black pulls off something very close to magic, leading Milk to the Oscar for Best Writing and Screenplay 2008.

Penn goes deep and soulful in a highly ingratiating performance that's the one to beat for the Best Actor Oscar. Penn inimitably brought Milk alive as a vital and highly relevant figure, not just a political abstraction or any gay activist. Josh Brolin, being nominated for Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role
(Oscar), lived his character wonderfully. Even James Franco and Emile Hirsch have done an excellent job in the film.

Milk received widespread acclaim from film critics. Rotten Tomatoes reported that 93% of critics gave the film a positive review, based on a sample of 209, with an average score of 8.0/10. Winning two Oscars, for the categories Best actor and best screenplay, it was nominated for six other. In addition, it won another 33 awards
and was nominated for around 44 categories.

Concerned that his raised profile marked him as a target for assassination, he recorded on tape, adding: "If a bullet should enter my brain, let that bullet destroy every closet door".

Overall the movie is worth watching!


(Written for Pink Pages)

Compromise!!~~

All it flows like the unconfined river,
And I am one of the pebbles,
Drifting along the times,
Sometimes sluggish, sometimes swiftly,
Losing my contour and the skin I got.


All it grows like the stretching tree,
And I am one of the leaves that shed last night,
I am unaware where this dark night will lead,
But losing my dry soul this autumn,
Will enhance its charm for sure.


All it soothes like this embellishing room,
And I am one of the curtains so elegant,
That’s dancing with this strong wind.
The dust sometimes hits me hard,
Still I am showing the image behind the veiled cards.


All it tastes like any other cappuccino,
And I am the coffee beams, one of its ingredients.
Mixed and blended to give it a savor,
I was appreciated for giving this recipe a name,
But still never accepted the way I was.


In the dim light of moon,
Shines that charismatic river,
The wind touching my chest,
Comes after plucking those leaves.


The pebbles unnoticed,
Or it may be the separated leaves.
I am pleased for the love they express,
But this very moment
I see their different shade,
Compromise under the name of love.


I stand still, facing out the window,
With the cappuccino set for appreciation,
The breeze knocks for space,
Hitting those cuddling curtains.


The juvenile curtains,
Or it be the luscious coffee,
I am pleased for the altruism they express,
But this very moment
I hear their silent voice,
Compromise under the noise of life.


I feel like being a mirror,
Never cleaned for years,
Still how can I show you, my boy,
The same old image.


I tried reflecting back what I got,
But failed this time too,
Since under the name of a relation,
I am compromising too.

( Now a part of Gaylaxy )

And it remained untitled!!~~

Part One:
Ambiguous Desire, Smokeless Fire,
Narrow Node, Unbreakable Code!

Masking my entity,
within my silent words,
image of universal acceptance,
still seems blurred.

Restricted Light, Siezed Flight,
Viscid Solution, Eternal Illusion!

Why gender is not left unseen,
when love is for unseen soul.
In this largest stage called world,
how long I will be playing Straight's role!!

Part Two:
A bridge yet unrevealed,
On which I stand.
Beneath the cloudy sky,
Over the barren land!

Supported by divinity,
yet in devil's eye.
Within the majority,
our smile seems dry!

The quest is on,
for the perfect lane.
Cherishing my visibility,
In the invisible domain!

( Now a part of Gaylaxy )