"I have been straight all my life until you came to me as my lover",
he said. What would you call it? A lie, a tacky trick, or ignorance,
but to me it’s a mystery. Sexuality had been a mystery to me, and
still it is. We got no scale to measure few things, and sexuality
lands up in the same list.
Few years back, when I made my (fake) profile on orkut, and I mentioned my sexuality as bisexual, when a friend of mine told me to change it to gay. I didn't reasoned him, rather changed it, and gradually found the reason. May it be forced to my lesser maturity, people were actually not much preferring befriending bisexuals, inevitably making it morally down. Being gay was fine, being straight obviously fine, but bisexuality was in close proximity to something wrong.
To this, as many people would, I too disagreed.
Few days back, I was at work when one of my friend, who had been in a heterosexual relationship for past three years and had breakup few months back, called me and told he has a boyfriend now. To me, to be true, first it seemed to be joke, something indigestible. And, then I realized things aren't vulgar anyway, but the sharp boundaries are.
I have found straight guys falling in for gays, gays falling in for girls, no trick involved, no lust dominated, no love deceived, and that too when they had a great heterosexual/ homosexual relationship (respectively) in their past. Some may say it's out of boredom, or it's out of frustration, but the mystery remains.
Sex is one thing, an important component of life but certainly smaller than love and attachment. Once one is involved with a person emotionally to the extreme, "getting physical" with him doesn't make you gay or bisexual, when he knows it won't happen with anyone else ever in his life. The complications to relationship persist, (in which relation it doesn't?), but in that case you need to broader your concept of sexuality and individuality, rather than convincing him to turn gay/bisexual or accept him as gay/bisexual.
Love is always above definitions. The mystery will remain within your maturity levels, the vulgarity will remain within the beauty of life, and the choice will too always remain all yours. And, all I will say is "As long as it makes you happy go ahead."
[Written for Gaylaxy Magazine]
Few years back, when I made my (fake) profile on orkut, and I mentioned my sexuality as bisexual, when a friend of mine told me to change it to gay. I didn't reasoned him, rather changed it, and gradually found the reason. May it be forced to my lesser maturity, people were actually not much preferring befriending bisexuals, inevitably making it morally down. Being gay was fine, being straight obviously fine, but bisexuality was in close proximity to something wrong.
To this, as many people would, I too disagreed.
Few days back, I was at work when one of my friend, who had been in a heterosexual relationship for past three years and had breakup few months back, called me and told he has a boyfriend now. To me, to be true, first it seemed to be joke, something indigestible. And, then I realized things aren't vulgar anyway, but the sharp boundaries are.
I have found straight guys falling in for gays, gays falling in for girls, no trick involved, no lust dominated, no love deceived, and that too when they had a great heterosexual/ homosexual relationship (respectively) in their past. Some may say it's out of boredom, or it's out of frustration, but the mystery remains.
Sex is one thing, an important component of life but certainly smaller than love and attachment. Once one is involved with a person emotionally to the extreme, "getting physical" with him doesn't make you gay or bisexual, when he knows it won't happen with anyone else ever in his life. The complications to relationship persist, (in which relation it doesn't?), but in that case you need to broader your concept of sexuality and individuality, rather than convincing him to turn gay/bisexual or accept him as gay/bisexual.
Love is always above definitions. The mystery will remain within your maturity levels, the vulgarity will remain within the beauty of life, and the choice will too always remain all yours. And, all I will say is "As long as it makes you happy go ahead."
[Written for Gaylaxy Magazine]
No comments:
Post a Comment